The Delusional Fantasies We Live With Each Day : zenhabits

I spent the bulk of my day back at work today suffering from delusional fantasies of living a life of leisure

I woke up this morning and spent all of my snooze button time wondering what was the absolute latest minute that I could get out of bed and still not be late for a 7:30am conf call. I got up at 7:05

zenhabits : breathe The Delusional Fantasies We Live With Each Day ‘Most human beings spend 50 to 90 percent or more of their time in their imagination, living in fantasy.’ ~Charlotte Joko Beck

By Leo Babauta

We fail at creating new habits because of fantasies.

We procrastinate because of fantasies.

We get frustrated with other people, with ourselves, because of fantasies.

We miss out on the wonder of the world because of fantasies.

We — all of us — live our lives in delusion most of the time. That might not seem true, but consider:

When you wake up and start thinking about what you’re going to do today, your plans aren’t really happening, but are all in your head. When you fear the failure that might come when you tackle this big work task, and you procrastinate, it’s not failure that’s actually happening but it’s all in your head. When someone does something that irritates you, this is because they aren’t acting as you think they should (they should be more considerate), but this “acting how you think they should” is not reality but an ideal you have, in your head. The frustration stems not from their actions but from how their actions differ from your fantasies. When you start out with a new habit (let’s say exercise), you are motivated by a fantasy of what your life will be like when you create the habit … but that’s not real. When the reality of the habit happens, it never matches up with your fantasy. It’s often harder, sloppier. Less idealized. And so you quit. When you move through your home or office, your mind is not on the action of walking and the things around you, but elsewhere. In fantasy. When you eat, you’re not paying attention to the food most of the time. Your mind is somewhere else, in fantasy. When you talk to someone, you aren’t focused on what they’re saying, but thinking of what you’re going to say, or thinking about something else. Of course, some of the time we’re here in the present moment, but it’s probably less than you think.

The fantasies take up most of our time, and they are not usually helpful. They cause us to fear, to procrastinate, to become angry, disappointed, to quit.

Instead, try this: let go of the fantasy and pay attention to this actual moment. See it for what it is, not what you’d like it to be. Accept it exactly as it is, warts and all.

Move through the day practicing this seeing things as they are.

Do your work without thinking about the fear of your failure fantasy, or what might happen in the future, or how hard this work is gonna be … and just do it, in the present moment.

Do your new habit (exercise, meditation, healthy eating) in the present moment, seeing it for what it is, not how it measures up to your fantasy of what it should be. Not how it will be hard in the future. But as it is.

See other people for what they are, and accept them without judgment. Strangers included. Warts and all.

We can fantasize all we want, but the fantasy never happens. This present reality is all we got. Let’s learn to love it.


Heading home

Getting ready to head to the airport here in a bit. I can’t wait to go. Being “home” with my parents for a week has been a mixed bag of emotions. I’ve been going thru interwebz withdrawal and not able to post all of the stuff we’ve been doing and things I have been thinking about.

I had a lot of angst growing up here but in many ways it was good coming back having shed that angst.

For now here is a pic of a peacock hen and her two little baby chicks that my wife snapped with my phone last night as we watched the sun setting over the desert. Which pretty much sums up what my life is all about these days.



Veronika Scott was a fashion student at the College for Creative Studies in Detroit when her teacher, Stephen Schock, challenged her class to create a product that filled a need, rather than satisfying or creating a fad. Veronika’s design was a coat for homeless people that could transform into a sleeping bag, since in her city, she says, “you are constantly faced with the homeless epidemic.” 

Not only did her design win a International Design Excellence Award from the Industrial Designers Society of America, it’s become the core of Veronika’s nonprofit organization, The Empowerment Plan, which hires people from homeless shelters and transition homes to help her make the coats. Now, three years later, the 24-year-old social entrepreneur expects that her team of 15 seamstresses will produce over 6,000 coats in 2014 — all of which will be distributed free of charge to people living on the streets. 

Veronika originally designed the coats seeking input from people at a homeless shelter. After receiving feedback from people who used the prototype over a Detroit winter, she refined the design to create her final version which, in addition to being a waterproof and windproof coat and sleeping bag, also transforms into an over-the-shoulder bag with storage in the arm sockets. 

When she started out, Veronika states,

“Everybody told me that my business was going to fail — not because of who I was giving my product to but because of who I was hiring. They said that these homeless women will never make more than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich — you cannot rely on them for anything. And I know my ladies enjoy proving everybody wrong.” 

And, their impact is growing — according to CNN, which recently honored Veronika as one of their 10 Visionary Women of 2014, “The Empowerment Plan expects to launch a ‘buy one, give one’ program that will make it sustainable beyond the donations and sponsorships that keep it running now. Hunters and backpackers who’ve asked to buy the coat will be able to do so, and the Empowerment Plan will still create coats for homeless people who need them.”

Veronika is also excited to show other clothing producers that local manufacturing is possible: “I think we’re going to show a lot of people: you think it’s outdated to do manufacturing in your neighborhood, but I think it’s something that we have to do in the future, where it’s sustainable, where you invest in people, where they’re not interchangeable parts.”

You can read more about Veronika’s organization on CNN, or watch a short video about her work here.

To learn more about The Empowerment Plan or how you can support their work, visit

For a wonderful book about women’s great inventions throughout history, check out “Girls Think of Everything” for readers 8 to 13.

For those in the US who would like to support efforts to end homelessness and help the over 600,000 people who experience homelessness on any given night, visit the National Alliance to End Homelessness at or to find a local homeless shelter to support in your area, visit

Important in so many ways.

This seems very cool

I’m not sure how my mom has been able to live with my dad for all these years. Today on return trip from salt river
Dad driving and calling out the temperature reading from the dash board every couple of minutes:

It’s 114’F !
A few minutes later, it’s 116’F now
It’s 118!
It says 117 now
It was just 120 a second ago, but it says 119 now?
Oh it’s 120 again

Mom: pshaw! Oh it’s not 120, I don’t believe it 
Dad: [sounding hurt]…[frowning] you don’t like my weather report? Ok I will stop
Mom: ok!
Dad: [mumbles to himself] it says 121 now

Conversation with my daughter about a dashboard

  • Daughter:

    [waiting patiently by the door for me]

  • Me:

    [scrambling around trying to get going] oh hey, can you put this piece of paper on my dashboard?

  • Daughter:

    [frowns] ???... Uh... What's a dashboard?

  • Me:

     You don't don't know what a dashboard is!?!????

  • Daughter:


  • Me:

    What? Holy cow. Ok. You don't know what a dashboard is. Ok. Just a sec. It's easier if I just show you. 

  • Daughter:

    Well I know what dashboard is on social media. But it doesn't seem like you're talking about that.  

  • Me:

    [in my head: OMG! WTF? -poof- mind blown]

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